Noble, Mary Brenda
February 1, 2017 marked our parent's 56th anniversary. It also was the day that we and our father held our mother's hand and kissed her beautiful face for the very last time. At 7:10 p.m. she slipped away from us, finally achieving the physical and mental peace that had been so allusive over the past year. She was as stubborn in death as she was in life. Strong willed to the last moment, refusing to give in against all odds, until finally her body couldn't keep pace with her desire to keep going.
Our mother was an accomplished woman, yet no matter what her children might amount to she always regarded us as her greatest accomplishment. She taught us much, not by lectures and scolding but by example, love and support. She never judged us and never failed us. Her unconditional love is irreplaceable.
Mary Brenda Hayes was born in Guelph Ontario on Mother's Day, May 11, 1935. She was the second youngest of 5, 4 girls and a boy and till the day she died would reminisce about the trouble the girls got into. It was in Guelph where she first caught the political bug, learning it at the foot of her grandfather TJ Hannigan, a councillor, and close friend of George Drew and Adam Beck. She started door knocking with her father Jack Hayes as a toddler and never looked back. It was a bug she passed onto her children, through much the same forced labour of canvassing at early ages.
As a child she was a going concern in a family of going concerns. She engaged in all manner of sports and began figure skating in 1940, a sport she would continue to love and compete in for 18 years. Mom loved to sing and was a choir girl and eventually a back-up singer for Robert Goulet. A good Catholic girl, mom attended St. Mary's Elementary, St. Joseph's Academy and the St. Joseph's College Boarding School, all in North Bay where her family moved.
In 1960 Mom met and fell madly in love with her life-long partner Alan, and they eloped! In 1961 Leslie was born in Winnipeg where Dad was working. Eventually they moved to Kitchener and have made their home in Waterloo Region ever since. Bill was born in 1969 at St. Mary's Hospital, the place where Mom passed away. Mom always said she wanted 12 children, selfishly we are glad she didn’t as we didn't have to share her – except with her beloved cats and of course Dad.
In addition to music, skating and politics, Mom's passions included Girl Guides and animal welfare. She became a Girl Guide Brownie in 1943 and remained involved in the organization her entire life, as an adult volunteer, camping instructor and mentor. The animals in Mom's life were the luckiest animals in the world. She treated her many cats over the years as members of the family. Elephants were her favourite, and seeing them in the wild in Africa was a highlight of her life. She was a donor to many animal welfare causes and supporter of the Toronto Humane Society, Canadian Wildlife Association and the World Wildlife Association.
Mom's proudest political moment was when she helped elect North Bay native Mike Harris as Premier, in some ways because it was a project she did with her children. She went on to work for the Harris government as a constituency assistant in Kitchener, a job she loved because it allowed her to help other people. For several years after her retirement she sat as a public member on the Ontario College of Nurses – mom hated to be idle. As a young woman she worked for the CNR, the Bank of Nova Scotia and a number of administrative jobs between her child rearing duties – as soon as we were off to school full time she was back to work, unable to sit still.
The nursing staff who tended to our mother in her last days described her as a warrior. No truer words have been spoken. Not only was she a political warrior, but she was a life-warrior as well. In her twenties Mom was in a car accident in which she was tossed from the vehicle into a ravine, breaking her legs, her back, and losing most of her teeth, yet she crawled to the road, the only survivor. A few years later she suffered a burst appendix and came close to dying. A massive heart attack at the age of 57 gave us a scare when doctors told us she would not survive without a transplant – which she did not have. In the last year alone she survived sepsis twice. 25 years after receiving a death sentence my mother's heart finally gave out despite the fight she put up.
Mom was predeceased by her parents Jack and Margaret Hayes, her sisters Margit-Ann and Moira, and her brother Edward. She is survived by the love of her life Alan, her children Leslie and Bill, her sister Frances-Claire, cherished nieces and nephews Mary Ann, Peter, Andrew, James, John, Phillip, Patricia, Heather and numerous great and grand nieces and nephews, and Boris the Cat.
Private funeral mass – Latin of course, and cremation have taken place. Friends and family are invited to celebrate Mom at a wake to be held on February 12, 2017 at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, in the Firshade Room at the Langdon Hall Country House in Blair (Cambridge) Ontario. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in her name to the Toronto Humane Society and/or Girl Guides of Canada (cards available at the Henry Walser Funeral Home 519-749-8467).
Visit www.henrywalser.com for Brenda's memorial.