How To Help Someone Who Is Grieving
How To Help Someone Who Is Grieving
Written by Marny Williams
Bearing witness to someone else’s grief and heartache can be difficult and make you feel uneasy and awkward. But please know there are a few simple things that you can do to help a grieving family member or friend.
1. LISTEN. Grieving people just want to talk and be heard without judgement. The reality is there is nothing you can say that will lessen the heartache and pain they are feeling. The only thing that will make this better is to bring back their deceased loved one…and that is the one thing no one can do
2. DO. Grieving people need practical help.
a. Make single serve meals (remember 1 person can not eat a 9x11 casserole by themselves!)
b. Shovel snow, cut grass
c. Help with winter prep and spring clean up in both home and yard
d. Drive them to errands, doctor appts, children’s extra curriculars
e. Babysit
f. Help with Honey Do List
3. SAY THEIR NAME. We are all worried that if we say their loved one’s name we will make them sadder. Guess what? They are already sad and not saying their name is what makes it worse. Talk about their loved one, share stories, laugh, cry and remember with them.
4. DO NOT JUDGE. Until you have experienced the death of someone special to you, you can not imagine what it is like for others. Even if you have, everyone’s grief journey is as unique as a fingerprint…we all do it differently. Do not judge how they are grieving because they are doing it the best way they know how.
5. BE THERE. Grief is a life long journey. Be there to listen, help, talk, honour and share their special person for the all the days, weeks, months and years.
6. GIVE HUGS. Hugs are always good and say so much without saying anything at all.
Take care of yourself while supporting a grieving family member or friend. Know what you are good at and be honest with them. If you cannot be present in their intense emotions, let them know that and do something else for them. I would never have asked my Mother-in-Law to mow my lawn, but I did ask her to watch my kids and make me dinner. Do what you can and if you cannot do it, help find someone who can.